On Grief and Coping

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

One of my close friends passed away in late August, and three months later, I still feel completely lost and heartbroken. I don't want to give away more details, out of respect to her family, who are also my friends, but basically, a tragic accident took her life. It was and still is devastating. There aren't words to describe the shock and the pain, but here I am, wanting to share, because I think at the very least, people should know who she is and how much of an impact she has made on so many people.

My friend, Medina, was 20 years old. She was young, carefree, and incredibly beautiful inside and out. Whether you were close to her or not, everyone felt her strong and confident presence. She was vibrant - a true beauty and a go-getter with a nurturing quality. At times, she would get into this mom-mode in which she would speak with such maturity and authority that I sometimes forgot how young she still was.

Why am I writing this blog post? I'm not sure. Maybe I'm writing this because I am not sure how else to cope. I've always found this blog to be a great outlet, and countless times I've gotten genuine feedback and conversations here, and I feel like talking about my friend and remembering her are the only things I can do right now. So here I am. 

That being said, I do also want to take my time to thank those that left me nice comments and messages on Instagram and Twitter when I shared the news in August; your support was not left unnoticed. I really appreciate having a group of people online that I've never even met in real life, help me through this tough time. 

While I'm not sure I am 100% there yet, I feel I've made some progress as I'm blogging again. I'm reading again, which was the hardest thing to do after it happened because she used to love my book posts on my IG. I'm also considering going on trips to places similar to the place she was once last, which is a big deal. Will I actually go? Maybe not, maybe yes, but like they say... baby steps. 

10 comments:

  1. Jillian, I'm so very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you, as I can't even imagine how much you're hurting. I wish I had some sort of advice or soothing words that would help. It sounds like your friend was an incredible person and everyone was blessed to know her.

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    1. Thanks, Brandie. I really appreciate your comments during that time too. I wish I could say it's easier it is because it's been three months, but I think it's really hitting us hard during the holidays. She really was an incredible person.

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  2. So sorry for your loss. The first year grief really ebbs and flows. My father died last November and I still feel a little "off" . If its not too painful talk about the good times you shared. Do something for yourself that you enjoyed together. It will get easier

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  3. So sorry for your loss. The first year grief really ebbs and flows. My father died last November and I still feel a little "off" . If its not too painful talk about the good times you shared. Do something for yourself that you enjoyed together. It will get easier

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    1. I am so sorry about your father. There are just no words to comfort someone or to let them feel how sorry you are. That's the thing with grief - it's so personal and different for everyone and like someone said, there's no time table for it.

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  4. I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. It sounds like she was a wonderful person. Grief doesn't have a time table, unfortunately. I am not sure we ever really get over the loss of those we love, not really and not completely. My thoughts are with you.

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    1. Thank you. I think it doesn't hurt to have what you said repeated to me over and over again. At times I think that's what we need to hear - that there's no time table and that it's okay to feel that loss.. because it was important.

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