The Bell Jar + Seattle

Since I haven't yet found the 'perfect' next book to cure this incredibly annoying reading slump disease, I decided to reread a book I read and liked a lot. Now I'm only a few chapters in this book, but reading it makes me realize that this really must be one of my favorites. It's a very depressing book to read, but it's such a great and realistic work nonetheless. I highly recommend you read it at least once if you haven't already. 

In other news, I am currently in Seattle, Washington for a mini vacation. I'm only here until Friday so I thought I'd ask you guys if you're from here - or have visited here before - if there are certain bookstores I MUST visit. 

Also, I am curious to know what you LAST read and what you are currently reading at the moment. Let me know! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season, and have a great new year ahead!

yours, mine, ours: the weekend

This weekend, my family and I drove down to Southern California for a little 'getaway' of some sort. The drive took about 8 hours and we stayed just from Friday to Sunday. All I have to say is - I probably would never trade San Francisco for anything, and I would not want to really live there, but Los Angeles and San Diego are pretty wonderful.

What were you up to the past weekend and what were you reading?

Here's to me hoping you had a good one xx

i'm baaaccckkk!

That wasn't really that long of a break, but it was just exactly what I needed.

I felt like if I didn't take a brief hiatus, I would've just posted depressing quotes and posts over here, and that's just not who I am as a person and as a blogger at all.

But I am back now, and I just want to thank everyone that left a comment on that post [edit: I officially deleted that said post] and sent me e-mails and tweets. You guys have been a huge help and have been a great addition to a wonderful support system that I have in real life.

Not a whole lot has changed, really, but like I mentioned previously, I have been doing many different projects. I feel like I'm most myself when I do creative things, however random they may be.

As far as this blog goes, I'm also really excited to be back. Thanks so much for sticking around! You guys are awesome.

created a random music video.

Hey everyone! I just thought I'd share this with you all. Last night and earlier today, I was feeling really inspired to do something creative. I wanted to write, but was too distracted. I started to blog, but couldn't think of anything at that moment. I wanted to read, but I wanted to do something else...! Something new, something in the 'creative department' that I haven't really done before. So I did this.

It's not that good or anything, and I absolutely fail at drawing (even stick figures!) but I thought it was kind of fun. Plus, I really like telling stories, in general and through music... it's not exactly a grand one, but it's a story nonetheless. Also, I LOVE this song.

So if you could watch, rate, and possibly subscribe, that'd be greatly appreciated. I might actually do more of these and see if I improve at all. Ha. Anyway, thank you as always.

labor day reading + need help for school!

It's Labor Day weekend! What better way to spend the 4-day mini-break we get to have than with these books? Let me know what you are currently reading, and what you're planning to read next this week as well!

I also wanted to take advantage of having this blog and ask you all for school help. For one of my classes, we're supposed to write a 10 page argumentative essay. Now, I need ideas from you guys - for ethical topics, preferably those that are controversial! The thing is, we can't write on abortion, marijuana legalization, and/or gay marriage (since our professor says everybody ends up doing their essays on those topics!) So... if you could kindly help me brainstorm, that would be AWESOME. Thanks, as always!

me? getting a tattoo??

I haven't really told anyone about this, but for the past few years now, I've been thinking about getting a tattoo. Yup, a real one. The permanent kind. The one that grows old with you and never changes kind. The thing is, if you knew me personally, you could NEVER imagine me actually getting one!

But don't get excited; this is just an idea. I doubt I would actually go through with this plan, since I'm too much of a chicken to do it. But hey, if I still feel this way by this time next year, maybe I'll really go through it. For now, this is a tattoo idea stuck in my dreams.

They would be on my wrists. It will be small and subtle. It would be of a book on the left wrist, and a quill on the right. 

Just thinking about it makes me all giddy for some reason!! And I truly believe that that design idea screams my name.

Would you ever get a tattoo? A literary tattoo perhaps? Or maybe you already do have one. Tell me!!

finally - a trip to an actual bookstore.

Last week, I decided to take a spontaneous trip to a bookstore a couple of mile away from where I work. It wasn't planned or anything, but somehow felt the "need" to get my bookstore air fix. So I just went for it. And this is the place I discovered; Recycle Bookstore found in San Jose, CA.

First thing I thought when I entered the bookstore, was that it was quite small. It had about four shelves, a counter, and that's about it. But as I kept wandering around, I realized that there were hidden rooms there, full of shelves and shelves and shelves and shelves of books. Fiction, Young Adult, Mysteries, Horror, Nonfiction, Poetry, Self-Help, Biographies... they had everything! I suddenly felt like I was in a labyrinth, and I felt completely overwhelmed yet so pleased.

The other thing I started to notice when I was towards the back end of the store, were two awesome things. One: there were actual ladders for you to use to reach the books, ala Belle from Disney's Beauty and the Beast. And two, it really did actually smell like books in there!

When I reached the counter to pay for the books I wanted, there were these books. I hope you can see their tags of their prices well enough ;)

The bottom line is; I had a great time visiting this bookstore. They had a lot to offer and their selection was great - they had new releases, used books, and vintage/antique books as well. The best part was that it truly cured my need to visit an actual bookstore, after being deprived for a while. This place simply had a real book shop feel to it, and it made me feel so comforted to be in there. It was also another plus that the books were priced just right and the people were friendly enough. I am definitely coming back here again!

On Body image and How Books Helped.

"My stomach is too big."
"I have to lose 10, 20, 30 pounds in two months."

"I look fat in this dress."

"Don't take a photo of me!"

Sound familiar? In my head, for the longest time, they were all I knew. 

It took me a while to get to the conclusion that these feelings are normal, and that it's okay to feel these things. I do realize though it's something that we should try to stop feeling consistently. 

First off, I didn't always have body image issues, and this whole thing only started when I was around 16. I was one of those girls that developed a bit later on. With that came natural weight gain. Being that I was such a skinny girl when I was younger, everyone noticed the difference. Everyone.
In fact, everyone still comments on it to this day. Just recently, someone commented on a photo of mine posted and said I was too big. 
Suddenly, 125 pounds with a pear-shaped/hourglass figure for 5'1 was fat. I was very insecure, and self-conscious. Though I didn't go as far as starving myself, my confidence in myself went down the drain. I didn't want to have my pictures taken or wear anything that would show off my body. I would avoid going out with friends, and hated seeing someone I haven't seen in a long time. I always had this nasty whisper in my head telling me that everyone is staring and judging.

So at the end of the day, I usually just go home, stare at myself in the mirror, and hate myself. After that, I usually pick up a book just to keep my mind off the day.

Now these past couple of months, I have been reading books related to body image. I thought that it was so comforting that I could relate to these characters, despite the fact that they are fictional. While reading and discovering more about these characters and their stories, I began to take a good look at myself. What really was wrong with me? Was it the 125 pounds or my mind thinking so badly about myself?
It was a rough time, but going through that journey with these stories in these books made me start to gain back that confidence that I lost. Sure, it's harder some days, but overall, I have been a lot happier rather than down on myself. feeling happy and content.

Some of the books that I specifically read were Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson, Skinny by Ibi Kaslik, Life Size by Jenefer Shute were just some... even books like Willow by Julia Hoban that deal with body image and self-esteem in general helped.

These were the ones, among others, that hit me right on the head, and made me realize that I am lucky that I at least have a perfectly functioning body. It made me realize that it's only me to blame if I put myself down because of one person telling me what they think I look like. After all, I should know what I look like. I should know what's healthy for me, what I truly should change, what I should keep, and what I should not even bother with.

These were the books that made me start thinking a bit more clearly. It reminded me that 'real bodies' come in all sizes. It reminded me that as long as you are healthy, nobody can tell you, "You're fat" or "You're too skinny." And whenever I feel that tiny pang of body-hate anyway - because let's face it, those feelings and thoughts are simply inevitable - I try to remind yourself that someone thinks I'm beautiful. At least one person. And the only way other people can start seeing the real you, is if you start believing that too.

If you have any other recommendations for books that deal with this issue and the like, please let me know on the comments below. Of course, Random Ramblings is always open for discussion as well. And also, as always, thanks so much for reading.

it takes a long time to grow young.

Today, I become a year older!

I just want to say that if you're reading this, thanks for caring enough to read a post that is not related to books at all. Haha. I have posted a couple of those kinds of posts and so thanks for sticking with me and the blog for a long while now!

Aside from that, I wish you have a great day today; I know I will :) I know some of you are at BEA so enjoy for me! And as for the rest of you who aren't at the Book Expo, let me know what you're doing today and everything and also what you're currently reading. I would love to hear from you as always.

Happy reading! Happy Tuesday, Happy May 24th! and thank you <3
P.S. - tweet tweet tweet tweet

stress and other things.

2am and blogging. Not really sure why I'm writing this here, or at all for that matter, but to be honest, I'm just feeling so many stupid overwhelming things all at once! Just feeling stressed and gloomy as 'real life outside of the blogging world' is getting a bit too crazy for me.

I'm sure you've all somehow felt this way before. Feeling overwhelmed with everything you have to do, but not having enough hours during the day, not enough months in a year, to accomplish those important things. Feeling like time is running out. And then feeling like you've failed or getting left behind by everyone else who's moving forward when you haven't done what you're supposed to do in a timely manner. And then you're left there with multiple tasks piling up even more. You wonder, where do you even begin?

Ah. Forgive this dramatic post - such a downer! But just felt like I had to write it down to get things off my chest. I might even delete this post when I'm feeling much better, which I'm sure will be soon. And then normal blogging and usual old me will resume. But in the meantime, I hope you guys don't mind<3

my random ramblings. for tonight.

I am reading The Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien for the first time. I have always promised I would eventually pick this one up, but the thought of reading about the history of elves - and pretty much the entire, massive universe Tolkien created - intimidated me too much. Finally, I gave in and started reading it. I knew I had to someday. And I have to say, it's quite a challenge to do so. Reading it now, it truly does feel like reading a history textbook sometimes. Now that could either be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how you want to look at it. For me, I feel indifferent about it. Sometimes, it's refreshing and even relaxing. Sometimes, it's a pain.

Don't get me wrong; it's interesting, and complex and crazy awesome in so many ways. But... and this is a very big but; I am completely CONFUSED by it all! I don't know if it's because I'm sleepy, as I read it late at night and all, or I'm just a bit slow. I hope it's not the latter. (Surely, it's not? Haha) I even mentioned this problem I'm having on Twitter, asking why the book is so confusing, and Enbrethiliel suggested that it probably has a lot to do with the time line, or lack thereof. Well, that could be it.

Anyway, I thought I'd share my first impressions on it with you all, as I just finished a couple of chapters from it. I have to say though, while it's confusing most of the time, it's very promising. It's interesting, and for some reason, I just can't put it down. I'm drawn to it. So having said that... clearly, there's no stopping now.

Well... I guess that is all. I know this is somewhat of a pointless, rambly post, but might as well. Thanks for listening! And if you have ever read this book, please let me know what you thought of it.

easter weekend.

I hope you all had a great Easter Sunday, and even if you don't celebrate Easter, I hope you had an awesome weekend nonetheless. We mainly stayed home. Mom cooked spaghetti and meatballs for lunch/dinner, then we went to church at night. My sister and I planned to go shopping after but we forgot it was closed everywhere. Bummer! So... we basically stayed home and were lazy, in our pajamas for the rest of the day. It was nice, to be honest. I did get a lot of reading time yesterday, mostly at night before bed. I finished Chocolat by Joann Harris - which I might do an inspiration post on instead of a regular review, actually.

Anyway, I took some pretty random, pointless photos yesterday and I thought I might as well share them. Haha. Oh and thank you for your "fairy tale re-telling" recommendations. I am going to the library tomorrow to borrow most of the titles you recommended, so I'm excited. Anyway, I hope you all had a great, peaceful, and safe weekend. Let me know what you did! Happy week ahead, everybody!

(my new favorite mug!)

i'm still here + Disneyland

I am sorry I've been M.I.A. these past few weeks, but I am back now for good! Anyway, I decided to write this because I just wanted to share with you guys what I did this past weekend. I hope you guys don't mind the personal post! It was just so memorable and fun-filled to me that I felt like I had to share with you guys!

My friends and I drove down to L.A. from San Francisco (about 6 hours) and went to Disneyland. The previous times I've been there, I was 10 and 15. It's really crazy how different the experience was depending on my age, but one thing that never changed is how awesome this park is to me. It brings back so many memories and definitely makes new unforgettable ones. If you haven't been, go! And if you have been, whether it's in California, Florida, Paris, Tokyo, what is your favorite ride/attraction? Mine would be Indiana Jones, Tower of Terror, Space Mountain, and World of Color, among many others. Anywho, thought I'd share some photos and a video that I made. I hope you guys don't mind the personal post! :D And yes, I will be back for regular blogging. Happy weekend everybody!