The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown: a "review"

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Warning: This review will in fact come off as a biased rant. I am not entirely apologetic about it.

I'll begin by getting straight to the point; I did not like this book, at all. Next, let me just say that I am a big fan of The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons. I really enjoyed those two, mainly because they were entertaining, intriguing, and interesting. In fact, I was such a fan that I bought this book on its release day, pre-ordered and all. So if you're wondering if I’m just hating on the book for my mere entertainment, I hope you know I'm really not.

Having finished the book, and feeling slightly -- a.k.a. VERY -- upset and annoyed with it, I decided to share to you a little "review." Basically, this is pretty much how I imagined Dan Brown’s notes to have looked like before and while he was writing The Lost Symbol. I’m pretty sure it looked something like this…


1. Start with a renowned expert dying a hideous and morbid death. *next chapter* The phone rings in the middle of the night, waking up our main character, informing him about sudden, shocking, unexpected events that just happened. Our protagonist would then need to take an unexpected flight to nowhere. Once destination is reached, he will then have to face hours of grueling mystery and dangerous adventures, uncover historic secrets, and solve the problem hand in hand with a bunch of random other characters…… or else.

2. DESCRIBE DESCRIBE DESCRIBE. (in full detail) Talk endlessly about main character’s brooding looks, clothing (turtleneck, Harris Tweed jacket, khakis, and collegiate cordovan loafers), six pack swimmer and water polo abs, and Mickey Mouse watch. (also: talk nonstop about how the other characters’ use their iPhones and Blackberry<– very important!)

3. Have different variations of these:

Character 1: A lot of people don’t know but ‘X’ can be seen throughout history.. even famous landmarks and monuments.

Character 2: I don’t understand what you mean…

Character 1 shows Character 2. For a moment there, Character 2 could not grasp what Character 1 meant. And then all of a sudden… *GASP* it dawned on him.

4. Talk about Christianity/God/Jesus/Catholicism/Buddhism/Muslim/ancient groups/secret orders/secret cults/science/The Bible, etc.

5. Add a beautiful, wealthy, sexy, smart scientist (aka love interest. gender: female) who has ground-breaking secret inventions, research, and experiments that could forever change the course of history!

6. Add a villain. Tall, freakish looking, psychotic, bald, and rich. (by the way, come up with smarter adjectives ASAP)

7. The Ending. Something big. Something crazy. Something drastic. Add a twist. Something inspiring. Anything jaw-dropping.

8. One last thing. Add cliffhangers in EVERY chapter. And then make the readers wait for the revelations. They don’t have to make sense. They don’t have to advance the plot, or count for anything.They just have to be shocking!


1.)Write about 500 pages to satisfy my editor’s requirements. 2.) End it with a bang (talk about faith, hope, OR even love. I don’t know and I don’t care what it is as long as it is inspiring)


Just copy/paste from previous novels if lost. Nobody will notice.



Consensus: Personally, I thought it was boring, lengthy, dragging, uninspiring, and completely unnecessary. Believe me, I really wanted to love this one. But it pretty much failed on so many levels. Please don’t waste your time.

1 comment:

  1. Heh. I gave this book to my father for Christmas. He liked it...

    I have nothing to really base an opinion on, since I couldn't even get into The Da Vinci Code (for pretty much the same reasons you listed above). I didn't think the guy was ever going to escape from the Louvre, and I couldn't bring myself to care if he did or not.